Everything Is Beautiful

Lyrics:

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Pretty yellow, black and white
They are precious in his sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world

Everything is beautiful in it's own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter's day
And everybody's beautiful in an own way
Under God's Heaven
The world's gonna find the way

There is none so blind
As He who will not see
We must not close up minds
We must let our thoughts be free

For every hour that passes by
You know the world gets a little bit older
It's time to realize that people lies
In the eyes of the beholder

And everything is beautiful in it's own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter's day, sing it children
Everybody's beautiful in an own way
Under God's Heaven
The world's gonna find a way

We shouldn't care about the length of His hair
Of the color of His skin
Don't worry about what shows from without
But the love that lives within

And we're gonna get old again now
Everything is gonna work out fine
Just take a little time to the look on the good side my friend
And spittle in out in your mind

And everything is beautiful in it's own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter's day, sing it children
Everybody's beautiful in an own way
Under God's Heaven
The world's gonna find a way, one more time

And everything is beautiful in it's own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter's day
 

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The Haircut Song

Lyrics:

Well, when you get a haircut, you better go back home
When you get a haircut, get a barber you have known
Since you were a little bitty boy sittin' in a booster chair
'Cause you might look like Larry, Moe or Curly
If a stranger cuts your hair, oh Lord

Well, butte, Montana just a'passin' through, one thing I just had to do
Had to get a haircut and I was worried for my hair
I had a feeling of impending doom the minute I stepped into that room
And laid my eyes upon that barber chair, oh yeah

It was a macho barber shop
Hair dryers were mounted on a rifle rack
Were no mirrors, the barber chair was a Peterbilt
Barber walked in, he was huge, seven feet tall
Three hundred pounds of spring steel and raw hide
Wearin' a hard hat, chewin' a cigar, had a T-shirt on
Said, "I hate musicians"
Threw me in the chair, sneered and said, "What'll it be pal?"

Now a lot of people would be intimidated in a situation like this
I was not, I am what I am, play my piano, and sing my little songs
I looked him right in the eye and I said, "I'm a logger
Just up from Coos Bay, Oregon, been toppin' trees
Quite possibly the toughest man in the entire world"
He said, "All right"

He gave me a haircut and I walked out of there
My hair was gone, made Kojak look like Bill Golden
Yeah, had a tremendous craving to operate heavy equipment
Now, you may think that butte, Montana haircut's the worst
Any man could ever get, wrong

Well, a few months later I was in L.A., truckin' along on a smoggy day
I needed a haircut so bad I looked like Bozo The Clown
I was looking shaggy, not too good, I'd put it off as long as I could
And Lord, I hate to get a haircut out of town

Well, I walked in and realized immediately
That this guy was into punk rock, the walls were done in black leather
Had chains and whips and handcuffs hangin' on 'em
Barber walked in, he had orange hair, black mascara
Stainless steel teeth, black leather jacket with zinc studs

He threw me in the chair, hit me a couple times, whap, whap
Chained me down, threw a Nazi flag over me
Said, "I'm gonna tell you something
That might make you a little nervous", I laughed, "Ha ha ha"
I said, "What could possibly make me nervous?"
He said, "I'm Gay"

No problem, I'm not threatened in any way
I mean, I'm secure in my manhood, everything is cool
I am what I am, play my little piano sing my little songs
I looked him right in the eye, I said, "I'm a logger
Played football in high school, I was in the marine corps"
He said, "All right", and he gave me a haircut

I walked out of there, friends, my hair was purple
Well, at least that Mohawk section down the middle was purple
Had a white streak down one side, other side looked like Mr. T
Had a couple safety pins in my cheeks
Felt a teeny bit conspicuous

Luckily, my next job was in San Fransisco
Shoot, I got there and I didn't even stand out at all
Wasn't even close
Those people thought I was an insurance salesman

Well, a few months later, I was way down South
Grits and gravy and hush your mouth
Hair so long I'm startin' to look like a man in drag
It was then that the Sheriff walked up
And said, "Boy, you got too much hair on your head
You better get yourself a haircut or a dog tag"

Well, when I stepped into the shop
I realized immediately that I was dealing with a born-again barber
Don't see too many barber shops with a steeple
Had an organ in the corner, a choir
An usher led me to the barber chair

Barber walked in, started saying, "Grace, oh Lord
For these haircuts we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful
Dominus possum pax probiscus
Post mortem, et tu brute, puella carborundum?"

He was sorta half-baptist, half-catholic, kind of a Cathtist
He started cuttin' my hair and preachin' at the same time
I mean he's a wild man, scissors and razors a'flyin' around my head
He's talkin'about the liquor and wild women
And music and sex and the evils of dancing
And the music business in general

Then he looked down at me and he said, "What do you do for a living?"
Now, I'm not ashamed of what I do for a livin'
Workin' bars and casinos, around liquor and wild women
I just play my piano, sing my little songs
I looked him right in the eye and I said, "I run this Church for loggers"

When you get a haircut, be sure to go back home
When you get a haircut, get a barber you have known
Since you were a little bitty boy sittin' in a booster chair
Or you might look like Larry, Moe or Curly if a stranger cuts your hair
Oh yeah 

 

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It's Me Again Margaret

Lyrics:

Well, there once was a feller named Willard McVane
And he only had just one thought on his brain
Every evening about midnight he'd sleep off alone
And call the same lady on a pay telephone

"It's me again, Margaret
Hello, is this Margaret?
You don't know me, Margaret
But I know you"

Well, this upset the lady and it gave her the blues
So she called up the police, said, ‽What shall I do?”
Well the chief of detectives came round to her home
And eaves dropped upon them on her upstairs phone

"It's me again, Margaret
Hello, is this Margaret?
Margaret, I know it's you, Margaret
Are you naked?"

Well, they called up ma bell and they traced him on down
To a funky old phone booth on the outskirts of town
It was there that the vice squad with their field glasses read
The lips of that amorous man as he said

"It's me again, Margaret
Hello? Is this, is this Margaret?
I know it's you, Margaret
I bet you can't guess what I'm doing"

Well, they cuffed him and dragged him to the station downtown
And they allowed him one phone call 'fore the jailer came round
He wet his chapped lips and he cleared his young throat
Then he dialed the telephone and softly he spoke

"It's me again, Margaret
They got me, Margaret
You ain't going to miss me
Margaret, I know that
But I'll miss you"

And when I get out, Margaret
I'm going to come over there with an egg beater
And a live chicken, and some peach preserves!
We'll have a good old time, Margaret
 

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Ahab The Arab

Lyrics:

Let me tell you 'bout Ahab the Arab
The Sheik of the burning sand
He had emeralds and rubies just dripping off a him
And a ring on every finger of his hands

He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And every evening about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde and ride

Silently through the night to the Sultan's tent
Where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils
Swingingest grade A number one U.S. choice dancer
In the Sultan's whole harem

'Cause heh, him and her had a thing going
You know and they'd been carrying on for some time now
Behind the Sultan's back and you could hear him talk to his camel
As he rode out across the dunes

His voice would cut through the still night desert air

And he'd say
[Foreign Content]
Which is Arabic for, "Stop, Clyde!"
Clyde would say
[Foreign Content]
Which is camel for, "What the heck did he say anyway?"
Well

He brought that camel to a screeching halt
At the rear of Fatima's tent, jumped off Clyde
Snuck around the corner and into the tent he went
There he saw Fatima laying on a Zebra skin rug
Wearing rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
And a bone in her nose ho, ho

There she was friends, lying there in all her radiant beauty
Eating on a raisin, grape, apricot, pomegranate
Bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three Hershey bars
Sipping on a "R C" Co-Cola listening to her transistor
Watching the Grand Ole Opry on the tube
Reading the Mad magazine while she sung
"Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor?"

And Ahab walked up to her and he said
[Foreign Content]
Which is Arabic for, "Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby" You know what I mean! Whew!
She looked up at him from off the rug
Give him one of the sly looks
She said, "Crazy crazy crazy cray"
'Round and around and around and around and around and around

And that's the story 'bout Ahab the Arab
The Sheik of the burnin' sand
Ahab the Arab the swinging Sheik of the burnin' sand

Songwriters:

Ray Stevens 

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Source: youtube.com