Everything Is Beautiful

Lyrics:

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Pretty yellow, black and white
They are precious in his sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world

Everything is beautiful in it's own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter's day
And everybody's beautiful in an own way
Under God's Heaven
The world's gonna find the way

There is none so blind
As He who will not see
We must not close up minds
We must let our thoughts be free

For every hour that passes by
You know the world gets a little bit older
It's time to realize that people lies
In the eyes of the beholder

And everything is beautiful in it's own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter's day, sing it children
Everybody's beautiful in an own way
Under God's Heaven
The world's gonna find a way

We shouldn't care about the length of His hair
Of the color of His skin
Don't worry about what shows from without
But the love that lives within

And we're gonna get old again now
Everything is gonna work out fine
Just take a little time to the look on the good side my friend
And spittle in out in your mind

And everything is beautiful in it's own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter's day, sing it children
Everybody's beautiful in an own way
Under God's Heaven
The world's gonna find a way, one more time

And everything is beautiful in it's own way
Like a starry summer night
On a snow covered winter's day
 

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Source: youtube.com

Harry The Hairy Ape

Lyrics:

Well, a strange thing happened the other night
You won't believe it, but I swear it's true
Harry the hairy ape made his escape
From the city zoo

And under cover of darkness he made his way
To the middle of the municipal park
And he hid in the bushes and waited for somebody to come
Walkin' along by his self in the dark

Then along come somebody not suspectin' nothin'
Harry jump out of the bushes all of a sudden
Beat on his chest jump up and down and he say

Which is Harry-Ape talk for
"Boo, I betcha I scared you, ha ha"

Waaa! Scared that poor cat so bad
His eyes bugged out his hair turned white
And he ran off through the municipal park
Screamin' and hollerin', tearin' up the shrub and diggin' up the lawn

And knock down the "Keep off the grass" sign
Run through the hurricane fence
Fell into the municipal swimming pool
And drowned his self

Well, Harry thought this was the funniest thing
That he had ever seen
And he laughed, jumped back in the bushes
And got ready to do it again

The next guy to come along was the near-sighted local DJ
Just boppin' down the sidewalk on his way to work
With a box of records on his arm
That he was gonna play

So here he come, not suspectin' nothin'
Harry jump out of the bushes all of a sudden
Beat on his chest, jump up and down and he say

Which is Harry-Ape talk for
"Boo, I betcha I scared you, ha ha"

Man, that radio announcer didn't even bat an eye
He was so near sighted, he thought Harry was a Rock n' Roll singer
So he gave him the old glad hand, slapped him on the back
Smiled and say, "Don't worry, baby, I'm gonna play the record"

And then he say, "Bye" bopped on off down the sidewalk
Every 4 or 5 steps he'd stop and do the little mash potatoes
Harry just stood there, watchin' 'til he got out of sight
Man, he didn't know what to think, I mean it really shook him up

And he run back to his cage as fast as he can go
And jump up on his little swing
Put both hands over his eyes
And didn't look for 3 hours and 45 minutes

But that's not the end of our story
No!
Here's what happened

Well, the DJ played Harry's record, what record?
Shut up! It was a hit and he became a star
He got him some tight britches, got him a manager
Went on a promotion tour, combed his hair back

And took up playin' the guitar
And every Sunday afternoon you can go and see Harry at the zoo
And the girls'll scream and he'll sit on his swing
And pick and sing his hit record for you

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Source: youtube.com

The Haircut Song

Lyrics:

Well, when you get a haircut, you better go back home
When you get a haircut, get a barber you have known
Since you were a little bitty boy sittin' in a booster chair
'Cause you might look like Larry, Moe or Curly
If a stranger cuts your hair, oh Lord

Well, butte, Montana just a'passin' through, one thing I just had to do
Had to get a haircut and I was worried for my hair
I had a feeling of impending doom the minute I stepped into that room
And laid my eyes upon that barber chair, oh yeah

It was a macho barber shop
Hair dryers were mounted on a rifle rack
Were no mirrors, the barber chair was a Peterbilt
Barber walked in, he was huge, seven feet tall
Three hundred pounds of spring steel and raw hide
Wearin' a hard hat, chewin' a cigar, had a T-shirt on
Said, "I hate musicians"
Threw me in the chair, sneered and said, "What'll it be pal?"

Now a lot of people would be intimidated in a situation like this
I was not, I am what I am, play my piano, and sing my little songs
I looked him right in the eye and I said, "I'm a logger
Just up from Coos Bay, Oregon, been toppin' trees
Quite possibly the toughest man in the entire world"
He said, "All right"

He gave me a haircut and I walked out of there
My hair was gone, made Kojak look like Bill Golden
Yeah, had a tremendous craving to operate heavy equipment
Now, you may think that butte, Montana haircut's the worst
Any man could ever get, wrong

Well, a few months later I was in L.A., truckin' along on a smoggy day
I needed a haircut so bad I looked like Bozo The Clown
I was looking shaggy, not too good, I'd put it off as long as I could
And Lord, I hate to get a haircut out of town

Well, I walked in and realized immediately
That this guy was into punk rock, the walls were done in black leather
Had chains and whips and handcuffs hangin' on 'em
Barber walked in, he had orange hair, black mascara
Stainless steel teeth, black leather jacket with zinc studs

He threw me in the chair, hit me a couple times, whap, whap
Chained me down, threw a Nazi flag over me
Said, "I'm gonna tell you something
That might make you a little nervous", I laughed, "Ha ha ha"
I said, "What could possibly make me nervous?"
He said, "I'm Gay"

No problem, I'm not threatened in any way
I mean, I'm secure in my manhood, everything is cool
I am what I am, play my little piano sing my little songs
I looked him right in the eye, I said, "I'm a logger
Played football in high school, I was in the marine corps"
He said, "All right", and he gave me a haircut

I walked out of there, friends, my hair was purple
Well, at least that Mohawk section down the middle was purple
Had a white streak down one side, other side looked like Mr. T
Had a couple safety pins in my cheeks
Felt a teeny bit conspicuous

Luckily, my next job was in San Fransisco
Shoot, I got there and I didn't even stand out at all
Wasn't even close
Those people thought I was an insurance salesman

Well, a few months later, I was way down South
Grits and gravy and hush your mouth
Hair so long I'm startin' to look like a man in drag
It was then that the Sheriff walked up
And said, "Boy, you got too much hair on your head
You better get yourself a haircut or a dog tag"

Well, when I stepped into the shop
I realized immediately that I was dealing with a born-again barber
Don't see too many barber shops with a steeple
Had an organ in the corner, a choir
An usher led me to the barber chair

Barber walked in, started saying, "Grace, oh Lord
For these haircuts we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful
Dominus possum pax probiscus
Post mortem, et tu brute, puella carborundum?"

He was sorta half-baptist, half-catholic, kind of a Cathtist
He started cuttin' my hair and preachin' at the same time
I mean he's a wild man, scissors and razors a'flyin' around my head
He's talkin'about the liquor and wild women
And music and sex and the evils of dancing
And the music business in general

Then he looked down at me and he said, "What do you do for a living?"
Now, I'm not ashamed of what I do for a livin'
Workin' bars and casinos, around liquor and wild women
I just play my piano, sing my little songs
I looked him right in the eye and I said, "I run this Church for loggers"

When you get a haircut, be sure to go back home
When you get a haircut, get a barber you have known
Since you were a little bitty boy sittin' in a booster chair
Or you might look like Larry, Moe or Curly if a stranger cuts your hair
Oh yeah 

 

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It's Me Again Margaret

Lyrics:

Well, there once was a feller named Willard McVane
And he only had just one thought on his brain
Every evening about midnight he'd sleep off alone
And call the same lady on a pay telephone

"It's me again, Margaret
Hello, is this Margaret?
You don't know me, Margaret
But I know you"

Well, this upset the lady and it gave her the blues
So she called up the police, said, ‽What shall I do?”
Well the chief of detectives came round to her home
And eaves dropped upon them on her upstairs phone

"It's me again, Margaret
Hello, is this Margaret?
Margaret, I know it's you, Margaret
Are you naked?"

Well, they called up ma bell and they traced him on down
To a funky old phone booth on the outskirts of town
It was there that the vice squad with their field glasses read
The lips of that amorous man as he said

"It's me again, Margaret
Hello? Is this, is this Margaret?
I know it's you, Margaret
I bet you can't guess what I'm doing"

Well, they cuffed him and dragged him to the station downtown
And they allowed him one phone call 'fore the jailer came round
He wet his chapped lips and he cleared his young throat
Then he dialed the telephone and softly he spoke

"It's me again, Margaret
They got me, Margaret
You ain't going to miss me
Margaret, I know that
But I'll miss you"

And when I get out, Margaret
I'm going to come over there with an egg beater
And a live chicken, and some peach preserves!
We'll have a good old time, Margaret
 

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Gitarzan

Lyrics:

He's free as the breeze, he's always at ease
He lives in the jungle and hangs by his knees
As he swings through the trees without a trapeze
In his B.V.D.s

He's got a union card and he's practicing hard
To play, the guitar, gonna be a big star
Yeah, he's gonna go far
And carry moonbeams home in a jar

He ordered Chet's guitar course, C.O.D.
Makes A and E and he's working on B
Digs C and W and R and B and me and the chimpanzees agree
That one day soon he'll be a celebrity

Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it

Gitarzan, he's a gitar man
He's all you can stand
Give him a hand, Gitarzan

He's got a girl named Jane with no last name
Kinda homely and plain but he loves her just the same
'Cause she kindles the flame and it drives him insane
When he hears her say, she really does her thing
It's her claim to fame, come on, sing one Jane

Baby, baby, oh baby
Baby, oh baby

How about that, let's hear for Jane, yeah
Thank you folks

Well, they've got a pet monkey, he likes to get drunk
And sing boogie woogie and it sounds real funky
Come on, your time boy, sing one monkey, you go

Let's hear it for the monkey, oh

On Saturday night they need some excitement
Jane gets right and the monkey gets tight
And their voices unite in the pale moonlight
And it sounds all right
Yeah, it's dynamite, it's out of sight
Let's hear it right now

Baby, baby, oh baby, baby
Shut up baby, I'm trying to sing
Baby

Get it, get it, get it, get it

Gitarzan and his jungle band
And they're all you can stand
Give him a hand, Gitarzan
Oh baby

Gitarzan and his jungle band
They're all you can stand
Give him a hand, Gitarzan

Songwriters:

Leiber/Stoller

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Ray Stevens Comedy Song, Obama Budget Plan

Lyrics:

Well I told my wife we had to get control
of the finances in our household
we had to sit down and make a budget we could live by.

I said we’ll list our incomes and all our bills,
so get the bills, honey, if you will,
she got ‘em and stacked ‘em on the table three piles high.

Now, I work two jobs and the wife cleans homes,
our daughter babysits, our son mows lawns,
but that budget wouldn’t balance no matter how we tried.

So I said, let’s do what the government does,
it works for them it might work for us,
so I forgot my morals and ethics and swallowed my pride.

We took out every credit card we could get and loaded
them up with the maximum debt
borrowed from friends and family, even took out loans overseas.

I borrowed at work, took credit at the store,
‘til folks just wouldn’t give us credit any more,
and I said, “Honey, the next step is clear to me.”

[Chorus]

Now we got money
Obama money
Yeah we’re printin’ it in the basement just as fast as we can.
We’re makin’ money
Obama money
Yeah we’re livin’ the Obama budget plan.

Well, we didn’t use the money to reduce our debt, there was a whole bunch of thing we still wanted to get,
now that we had more money than ever before.
So we built a deck and a patio, put in a pool, bought a second home,
took all of our friends on vacation to Costa del Sol.

[Chorus]

Budget ceiling, credit score, don’t worry ‘bout that I’ll just print more of that money ...

[Chorus]

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Source: youtube.com

Ahab The Arab

Lyrics:

Let me tell you 'bout Ahab the Arab
The Sheik of the burning sand
He had emeralds and rubies just dripping off a him
And a ring on every finger of his hands

He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And every evening about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde and ride

Silently through the night to the Sultan's tent
Where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils
Swingingest grade A number one U.S. choice dancer
In the Sultan's whole harem

'Cause heh, him and her had a thing going
You know and they'd been carrying on for some time now
Behind the Sultan's back and you could hear him talk to his camel
As he rode out across the dunes

His voice would cut through the still night desert air

And he'd say
[Foreign Content]
Which is Arabic for, "Stop, Clyde!"
Clyde would say
[Foreign Content]
Which is camel for, "What the heck did he say anyway?"
Well

He brought that camel to a screeching halt
At the rear of Fatima's tent, jumped off Clyde
Snuck around the corner and into the tent he went
There he saw Fatima laying on a Zebra skin rug
Wearing rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
And a bone in her nose ho, ho

There she was friends, lying there in all her radiant beauty
Eating on a raisin, grape, apricot, pomegranate
Bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three Hershey bars
Sipping on a "R C" Co-Cola listening to her transistor
Watching the Grand Ole Opry on the tube
Reading the Mad magazine while she sung
"Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor?"

And Ahab walked up to her and he said
[Foreign Content]
Which is Arabic for, "Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby" You know what I mean! Whew!
She looked up at him from off the rug
Give him one of the sly looks
She said, "Crazy crazy crazy cray"
'Round and around and around and around and around and around

And that's the story 'bout Ahab the Arab
The Sheik of the burnin' sand
Ahab the Arab the swinging Sheik of the burnin' sand

Songwriters:

Ray Stevens 

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Source: youtube.com

Lollipop

Lyrics:

Lollipop, lollipop
Oh lolli, lolli, lolli, lollipop, lollipop

Call my baby lollipop, tell you why
His kiss is sweeter than an apple pie
And when he does his shaky rockin' dance
Man, I haven't got a chance

I call him lollipop, lollipop
Oh lolli, lolli, lolli, lollipop lollipop

Sweeter than candy on a stick
Huckleberry, chimry or lime
If you had a choice he'd be your pick
But lollipop is mine

Lollipop, lollipop
Oh lolli, lolli, lolli
Lollipop, lollipop

Crazy way he thrills me, tell you why
Just like a lightning from the sky
He loves to kiss me till I can't see straight
Gee, my lollipop is great

I call him lollipop, lollipop
Oh lolli, lolli, lolli, lollipop, lollipop
 

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Who Put The Bomp

Lyrics:

I'd like to thank the guy who wrote the song
That made my baby fall in love with me

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong

Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip

Who was that man, I'd like to shake his hand
He made my baby fall in love with me [Yeah]

When my baby heard
Bomp bah bah bomp
Bah bomp bah bomp bah
Every word went right into her heart

And when she heard them singin'
Rama lama lama lama
Lama ding dong
She said we'd never have to part

So who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong

Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip

Who was that man, I'd like to shake his hand
He made my baby fall in love with me [Yeah]

Each time that we're alone
Boogity boogity boogity
Boogity boogity boogity shoo
Sets my baby's heart all aglow

And everytime we dance to
Dip da dip da dip
Dip da dip da dip
She always says she loves me so

So who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong

Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip

Who was that man, I'd like to shake his hand
He made my baby fall in love with me [Yeah]

Darling, bomp bah bah bomp, bah bomp bah bomp bomp
And my honey, rama lama ding dong forever
And when I say, dip da dip da dip da dip
You know I mean it from the bottom of my boogity boogity boogity shoo

Ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh...
Ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh... ooh

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Rama Lama Ding Dong

Lyrics:

Oh oh oh oh
I got a girl named Rama Lama, Rama Lama Ding Dong
She's everything to me
Rama Lama, Rama Lama Ding Dong
I'll never set her free
For she's mine, all mine
Oh oh oh oh
I got a girl named Rama Lama, Rama Lama Ding Dong,
She's fine to me,
Rama Lama, Rama Lama Ding Dong
You don't believe that she's mine, all mine
I love her,
Love her, love her so.
That I'll never, never let her go.
You may be certain she's mine, all mine,
She's mine all of the time.
Oh I got a girl named Rama Lama, Rama Lama Ding Dong
She's everything to me
Rama Lama, Rama Lama Ding Dong
I'll never set her free
For she's mine, all mine

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Source: youtube.com

Short Shorts

Lyrics:

(Spoken):

Ooh man, dig that crazy chick.

Who wears short shorts
We wear short shorts
They're such short shorts
We like short shorts
Who wears short shorts
We wear short shorts

Who wears short shorts
We wear short shorts
They're such short shorts
We like short shorts
Who wears short shorts
We wear short shorts

Who wears short shorts
We wear short shorts
They're such short shorts
We like short shorts
Who wears short shorts
We wear short shorts

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Source: youtube.com

One Eye One Horned Flying Purple People Eater

Lyrics:

ell I saw the thing comin' out of the sky
It had the one long horn, one big eye
I commenced to shakin' and I said "ooh-eee"
It looks like a purple eater to me

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
(One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater)
A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me (One eye?)

Well he came down to earth and he lit in a tree
I said Mr. Purple People Eater, don't eat me
I heard him say in a voice so gruff
I wouldn't eat you cuz you're so tough

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
One-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater

One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me (One horn?)

I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line
He said it's eatin' purple people and it sure is fine
But that's not the reason that I came to land
I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band

Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin' purple people eater
Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin' purple people eater
(We wear short shorts)
Flyin' purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me

And then he swung from the tree and he lit on the ground
He started to rock, really rockin' around
It was a crazy ditty with a swingin' tune
Sing a boop boop aboopa lopa lum bam boom

Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin' purple people eater
Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin' purple people eater
I like short shorts
Flyin' little people eater
Sure looks strange to me (Purple People?)

And then he went on his way, and then what do ya know
I saw him last night on a TV show
He was blowing it out, a'really knockin' em dead
Playin' rock and roll music through the horn in his head

(clarinet solo)

Tequila

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Source: youtube.com

Wooly Bully

Lyrics:

Uno, dos,
one, two, tres, quatro.

Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw.
Had two big horns and a wooly jaw.
Wooly bully, wooly bully.
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.

Hatty told Matty: "Let's don't take no chance.
Let's not be *L-seven*, come and learn to dance."
Wooly bully, wooly bully.
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.

Matty told Hatty: "That's the thing to do.
Get you someone really to pull the wool with you."
Wooly bully, wooly bully.
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.

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Smokin' In The Boys Room

Lyrics:

Did you ever seem to have one of those days
When everyone seemed to be on your case
From your teacher all the way down to your best girlfriend
Well that used to happen to me all the time
But I found a way to get out of it

Sittin' in the classroom thinkin' it's a drag
Listening to the teacher rap just ain't my bag
When two bells ring you know it's my cue
Gonna meet the boys on floor number 2

[Chorus]
Smokin' in the boys room
Smokin' in the boys room
Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules
Everybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school

Checkin' out the halls makin' sure the coast is clear
Lookin' in the stalls, nah, there ain't nobody here
My buddies Sixx, Mick and Tom
To get caught would surely be the death of us all

[Chorus]

Put me to work in the school bookstore
Check-out counter, and I got bored
Teacher was lookin' for me all around
Two hours later you know where I was found

[Chorus]

Smokin' in the boys room
Smokin' in the boys room

[Chorus]

One more time

[Chorus]

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School's Out

Lyrics:

Well we got no choice
All the girls and boys
Makin' all that noise
'Cause they found new toys
Well we can't salute ya can't find a flag
If that don't suit ya that's a drag
School's out for summer
School's out forever
School's been blown to pieces

No more pencils no more books
No more teacher's dirty looks yeah
Well we got no class
And we got no principals
And we got no innocence
We can't even think of a word that rhymes
School's out for summer
School's out forever
My school's been blown to pieces

 

No more pencils no more books
No more teacher's dirty looks
Out for summer
Out till fall
We might not come back at all
School's out forever
School's out for summer
School's out with fever
School's out completely

Songwriters
LAWRENCE, DAVID N.

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Source: youtube.com