- They told me in the Army, the girls are mighty fine
- You ask for Betty Grable, they give you Frankenstein Chorus:
- Oh, I don't want no more of army life
- Gee, ma, I want to go
- Back to Ontario
- Gee, ma, I want to go home!
- They told me in the Army, the food is mighty fine
- A pea rolled off the table and killed a friend of mine.
They told me in the Army, the drink is mighty fine- You order up a whisky, they serve ya turpentine!
They told me in the Army, they love ta sing and dance- But no one said those Nazis would shoot me in the pants!
- They told me in the Army, the leaders say they're mighty fine
- But when they wake up in the morning they look like Frankenstein
- Chorus (several versions):
- Oh, I don't want no more of Army Life
- Gee Mom I want to go
- But they won't let me go
- Gee Mom I want to go home or:
- Oh, I don't want no more of camping life
- Gee Mom, I wanna go
- Back where the toilets flow
- Gee Mom, I wanna go home or:
- Oh I don't want to go to Girl Guide Camp
- Gee Mom I wanna go
- Back to my stereo,
- Gee Mom I wanna go home
They told me in the Army, the bugs have gone away- But every time you inhale there's something in your way!
They told me in the Army, the toast is mighty fine- A piece fell off the table and killed a pal of mine!
They told me in the Army, the beds are mighty fine- You wake up in the morning with wrinkles down your spine!
They told me in the Army, the eggs are mighty fine- One rolled off the table and started keeping time!
They told me in the Army, the cocoa's mighty fine- It's swell for cuts and bruises, and tastes like iodine!
They told me in the Army, the swimming's mighty fine- You step into the water, it freezes up your spine!
They told me in the Army, the porridge is mighty fine- You save a little extra and give your shoes a shine!
They told me in the Army, the music's mighty fine- You ask for Frank Sinatra, they give you Frankenstein!
They told me in the Army, the tents are mighty fine- They're made to sleep five in them, we usually squeeze in nine!
The tents that they give you, you think they're mighty fine,- But when we put the pegs in, they all fell down in time!
They told me in the Army, the leaders are might fine- They wake you up at seven and then sleep in 'till nine!
They told me in the Army, the drinks are mighty fine- You ask for Coca Cola, they give you turpentine!
They told me in the Army, the boys are mighty fine- You ask for Elvis Presley, they give you Frankenstein!
They told me in the Army, the toilets are so fine- You flush it down at seven, it comes back up at nine!
The toilets they give you, you think they're mighty fine- But when you sit upon them, they suck up your behind!
They told me in the Army, the tents are waterproof- You wake up in the morning, you're floating on the roof!
They told me in the Army, the boats are mighty fine- You sail a hundred miles and swim back ninety nine!
They told me in the Army, the beds are mighty fine- The leader who said that has never slept in mine!
They told me in the Army, the shoes are mighty fine- You ask for size 11, they give you 99!
The nurse that they have here, they say she's mighty fine- But when I broke my finger, she broke the other nine!
The tents that they have here, they say they're mighty neat- But when you go inside them, they smell like stinky feet!
The leaders that they have here, they say they're mighty fine- But when they take their makeup off, they look like Frankenstein!
The donuts that they have here, don't call me a liar- If you get a flat you can use them as a tire!
The latrines that they have here, they say they're mighty fine,- When you sit upon them, they suck in your behind!
The showers that they have here, they say they're mighty fine- When you turn them on, they squirt out yellow slime!
The chicken that they give, they say is mighty fine- But one jumped off the table, and started marching time!
The Kool-aid that they give you, they say is mighty fine- It's good for cuts and bruises, taste like iodine.
The spaghetti that they give you, they say is mighty fine- They wash it in the toilet and hang in on the line.
The clothes that they give you, they say are mighty fine- Me and my buddy can both fit into mine.
The kids that they give you, they say are mighty fine- But no matter what you're doing, all they do is whine.
They told me in the Army, the cookies are mighty fine,- But one rolled off the table and squashed a friend of mine.
The outhouse here at camp they say is mighty fine,- But if you ever walked in one you'd say they lost their mind.
The insects here at camp they say are mighty fine,- But one flew in my tent last night and now I'm sore behind.
The hiking here at camp they say is mighty fine,- But all those walks wore out my shoes and now I'm in a bind.
The fires here at camp they say are mighty fine,- But wouldn't you know my supper burnt, I guess I'll have to whine.
The leaders here at camp they say are mighty fine,- But one peeked in my tent last night and looked like Frankenstein.
They told me in the Army, the milk is mighty fine,- It's great for cuts on bruises and tastes like iodine.
They told me in the Army, the boys are mighty fine,- They're either under seven or over ninety nine!
They told me in the Army, the bugs are mighty fine- One flew into the tent last night a squashed a friend of mine.
- And the grand finale!
- And now that I've been here, I think it's mighty fine
- I'm going to reenlist next year to have another good time!
And then there are many, many different "camp" verses. You can modify this song to suit your particular event... check out "They Say That At Camp Woolsey" for an example. Here are a whole whack of verses, in no particular order:
- Click Here for video.
- Source: Youtube
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