Oh, You Can't Get to Heaven

Lyrics:

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in an old Ford car
'Cause an old Ford car won't get that far

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a ping pong ball
'Cause a ping pong ball is much too small

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a limousine
'Cause the Lord ain't got no gasoline

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a Sabre Jet
'Cause the Lord ain't got no runways yet

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a Girl Scout's arms
'Cause the Lord don't fall for those feminine charms

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a rocking chair
'Cause the Lord don't want no lazybones there

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a wicker chair
'Cause the Lord don't want no baskets there

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a biscuit tin
'Cause a biscuit tin's got biscuits in

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in an apple tree
'Cause an apple tree's got roots you see

Oh, you can't get to Heaven on roller skates
You'd roll right by them Pearly Gates

You'll never get to heaven in your girlfriend's bra
'Cause your girlfriend's bra can't stretch that far

Oh, you can't get to Heaven on a Honda bike
'Cause you'll get halfway, then you'll have to hike

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in our row boat
'Cause our row boat won't even float.

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in dirty jeans
'Cause heaven's got no washing machines.

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a Kleenex box
'Cause God don't like no dirty snots.

Oh, you can't get to Heaven on a pair of skis
You'll shuss right through St. Peter's knees.

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in our Leader's pants
'Cause his pants are full of ants

Oh, you can't get to Heaven on water skis
'Cause the angels don't like hairy knees

Oh, you can't get to Heaven with powder and paint
'Cause it makes you look like what you ain't

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a strapless gown
'Cause that gown thing might fall right down

Oh I want to go to heaven, and I want to do it right
So I'll go up to heaven all dressed in white

Oh one fine day, and it won't be long
You'll look for me, and I'll be gone

And if you get to heaven before I do
Just drill a hole and pull me through

But if I get to heaven before you do
I'll drill a hole and spit on you

Well if I get to heaven, before you do
I'll plug that hole, with shavings and glue

That's all there is, there is no more
St. Peter said, as he shut the door

Oh there's one more thing I forgot to tell
If you don't go to heaven, you'll go to...bed

And that's the end, St. Peter said
As he closed the gates, And went to bed.

Video:

Source: youtube.com

Oh, Susanna

Lyrics:

I come from Alabama with my banjo on my knee
I'm going to Louisiana, my true love for to see
It rained all night the day I left
The weather it was dry
The sun so hot, I froze to death
Susanna, don't you cry

Chorus:

Oh, Susanna,
Oh don't you cry for me
For I come from Alabama
With my banjo on my knee

2. I had a dream the other night when everything was still
I thought I saw Susanna a-coming down the hill
The buckwheat cake was in her mouth
The tear was in her eye
Says I, I'm coming from the south
Susanna, don't you cry

Chorus:

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Source: youtube.com

Oh, Pretty Woman

Lyrics:


Pretty woman, walking down the street
Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet
Pretty woman
I don't believe you, you're not the truth
No one could look as good as you
Mercy

Pretty woman, won't you pardon me
Pretty woman, I couldn't help see
Pretty woman
That you look lovely as can be
Are you lonely just like me
Wow

Pretty woman, stop a while
Pretty woman, talk a while
Pretty woman, give your smile to me
Pretty woman, yeah yeah yeah
Pretty woman, look my way
Pretty woman, say you'll stay with me
'Cause I need you, I'll treat you right
Come with me baby, be mine tonight

Pretty woman, don't walk on by
Pretty woman, don't make me cry
Pretty woman, don't walk away, hey...okay
If that's the way it must be, okay
I guess I'll go on home, it's late
There'll be tomorrow night, but wait
What do I see
Is she walking back to me
Yeah, she's walking back to me
Oh, oh, Pretty woman

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Source: youtube.com

Oh, My Darlin' Clementine

Lyrics: In a cavern, in a canyon, Excavating for a mine, Dwelt a miner, forty-niner And his daughter - Clementine CHORUS: Oh my Darling, Oh my Darling, Oh my Darling Clementine. Thou art lost and gone forever, Dreadful sorry, Clementine. Light she was and like a fairy, And her shoes were number nine, Herring boxes without topses Sandals were for Clementine Drove she ducklings to the water Every morning just at nine, Hit her foot against a splinter Fell into the foaming brine. Ruby lips above the water, Blowing bubbles soft and fine, But alas, I was no swimmer, So I lost my Clementine How I missed her! How I missed her! How I missed my Clementine, But I kissed her little sister, And forgot my Clementine. Then the miner, forty-niner, Soon began to peak and pine, Thought he oughter join his daughter, Now he's with his Clementine. In a churchyard near the canyon, Where the myrtle doth entwine, There grow roses and the posies, Fertilized by Clementine. In my dreams she still doth haunt me, Robed in garments, soaked in brine; THen she rises from the water And I kiss my Clementine. Click Here For Video. Source: Youtube